Don Cornelius is shown in 1995, celebrating the 25th season of Soul Train. (Associated Press)

It’s February 1st, 2012, the first day of Black History Month and I’ve just found out that Don Cornelius has died.  What has been released regarding the matter thus far is that he succumbed to a gunshot wound to the head which appears to be self-inflicted. My soul has been stirred.

This was the farthest thing from my mind when I woke up this morning.

Yesterday I was thrown a monkey wrench in regards to what I plan on doing with my life and the direction that it’s heading. I was determined however to not let it get the best of me. Usually when things don’t go as planned or expected I go into panic attack mode but somehow I was able to internally talk myself off the ledge and find a place of zen. I guess you could say that my level of maturity now exceeds my years in age, finally! I believe I have reached that threshold where I know that things in life will not always go as planned, however why get caught up with the dramatics of wallowing and harping on the bad when there is a lesson to be learned and that maybe, just maybe, it can turn it into something good?

I woke up this morning full of hope and optimism because the act in itself, waking up to a new day, is indeed a blessing regardless of what the day may bring. I made the necessary calls in order to be proactive towards finding a solution for my current hurdles. I even received an unexpected call from a certain someone, I guess that’s God’s way of telling me that the path I am on is in fact the right one. In the midst of that, I quickly reviewed the statuses on my BBM which is when I first learned of Don Cornelius’ passing.  In a state of disbelief I took to Google to do some fact-finding of my own. To my dismay the information was indeed correct, Don Cornelius, Mr Soul Train himself, had indeed been found dead. Of course when anyone passes the question that would cross anyone’s mind would be, died of what and how?

I am no stranger to depression as I myself believe that I suffer from a ‘touch’ of it as well as other people in my life. I am by no means assuming that he suffered from depression however to what depths of hopelessness would one have to plunge in order to take their own life? A belief that it would not get any better and that the taking of your own life would be the only means to an end. I’ve visited the depths of despair and played poker with the Devil. Thankfully God intervened and showed me in the only way possible that my soul was needed in the world of the living, he spared my life. I cry sometimes when I think back to that moment in time. That lapse in judgement where my overwhelming pain and suffering seemed to surpass my fear of God himself.  Determining that my life was no longer worth living and that death would be the suitable remedy for what ailed me.  I prayed for forgiveness and vowed never again, I now live to keep my vow to God.

I received a BBM blast from one of my contacts which compelled me to speak on the matter (excuse the grammatical errors I tend to think faster than my fingers can type):

Yes ma’am, the Devil is a liar. He will try to convince you that there’s no hope, no light, that the most precious gift that God has given you, life, is not worth living.  Suicide is directly contrary to the will of God, it goes against his gift of life. God created human beings in His image and each of us carries within us the potential to overcome the evil in this world. If we are Christians, we no longer belong to ourselves, but to God. We are overseers of our bodies and our lives which belong to Him, and we are responsible to guard that which has been entrusted to us. Though demons may try to tempt us to kill ourselves, as Christians we have power over the devil and he cannot push us to do so if we sincerely call on the name of the Lord. Mr Cornelius I pray that you called upon the Lord in your final moments on this Earth.